The Neon Demon (2016)

Jesse (Elle Fanning) at her opening photoshoot.

Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn (Only God Forgives, Drive) and starring Elle Fanning and Keanu Reeves, this 2016 psychological horror draws attention to society’s obsession with beauty, female sexuality and power and the intermingling of all three. With average ratings on both IMDb (6.3/10) and Rotten Tomatoes (57%), The Neon Demon sparked a lot of debate between critical responses and spectators, who felt that the film lacked substance and brushed over its flaws with overdramatic effects and camera techniques like a bad combover.

This film, in my opinion, is one of the most intriguing horror films ever made. It is complex, dark and compelling, and although long-winded and artsy in a way that makes it difficult to watch, once you see the film as a whole, its messages become clear and concise, echoed by the breath-taking cinematography and precise camera effects.

Jesse (Fanning), a beautiful young woman, takes part in a photoshoot with photographer Dean (Karl Glusman) where she is covered in blood. Cleaning herself up afterward, she meets make-up artist Ruby (Jena Malone), who takes her to a party and introduces her to her model friends: Gigi (Bella Heathcote) and Sarah (Abby Lee Kershaw). They probe Jesse about her sex life in the toilets, which Jesse is mysterious about.

Jesse meets with agent Jan (Christina Hendricks), who wants to sign her. After concurring that she’s underage, Jan gives Jesse a consent form to be signed by her parents and tells Jesse to tell anyone who asks that she is 19: ’18 is too on-the-nose’. Jesse later signs this alone in her motel room.

After going on a date with Dean, Jesse returns to her motel room to find a big cat inside. Shocked, she asks the motel management for help, and they find a cougar-looking cat prowling around her ransacked room. The creepy manager (Keanu Reeves) demands that she pays for the damages.

***START OF SPOILERS***

Jesse is booked onto a test shoot with renowned photographer Jack McCarthur (Desmond Harrington), who orders a closed set and covers her naked body with gold paint. The shoot is a success, and Gigi and Sarah start to envy her whereas Ruby becomes more and more entranced. Later, Sarah and Jesse both go to a casting call for a fashion designer Robert Sarno, in which he ignores Sarah and is enthralled by Jesse, taking her measurements. Sarah, humiliated and hurt, breaks a mirror in the bathroom. Jesse hears her and goes inside. Sarah asks her what it’s like to ‘be the sun’ in winter, and Jesse whispers ‘it’s everything’. Angry, Sarah pushes Jesse back into glass, and her hand is punctured. Sarah sucks the blood from her hand, and Jesse flees.

Back at the motel, Jesse is faint and answers the door to Dean, holding flowers, and promptly faints, having bizarre hallucinations. Dean confronts the motel manager and pays the damages. The manager says that he should be ‘getting something in return’ from Jesse, and suggests that if she’s unwilling, there’s a 13-year-old runaway in the room next door. Disgusted, Dean walks away.

At Sarno’s fashion show, Gigi spots Jesse, surprised that she’s there as Sarno doesn’t let just anyone in his show. She then details how much plastic surgery that she’s had, saying with pride that her surgeon calls her ‘the bionic woman’. Jesse is called in for a meeting with Sarno, in which he tells her she is going to close the show. On the runway, Jesse hallucinates a mirror prism in which she kisses her own face and triangular shapes. After the show, Jesse goes with Dean to a bar where they bump into Sarno, Gigi and another model. Sarno springs into a chauvinistic monologue where he explains that you can always tell if beauty is engineered, and humiliates Gigi for her plastic surgery choices. Dean leaves when Jesse agrees with Sarno.

Back at the motel, Jesse has a nightmare that the manager breaks in and forces a knife down her throat in a sexual attack. She wakes up in time to hear someone jiggling the doorknob from outside, and leaps to lock the door. After a series of frustrated bangs, the perpetrator moves on to next door where the runaway was said to be, and Jesse listens to the horrifying sounds coming from inside. She calls Ruby who invites her over, but when she gets there, Ruby attempts to have sex with her. Revealing that she’s a virgin, she rejects Ruby and the next day at her day job as a make-up artist at a morgue, Ruby straddles a female blonde corpse, kissing the body and pleasuring herself.

Returning home, Ruby finds Jesse dressed in a formal gown on the diving board above the empty swimming pool. Revealing herself to be completely assimilated to her new narcissistic way of life, Jesse gives a speech about how she knows that women would kill to be a half-rate version of herself and walks away. She is ambushed inside by Gigi and Sarah, who chase her with knives outside, where she is then pushed into the empty pool by the group of women. Gigi and Sarah wash her blood off in the shower, whilst Ruby looks on from a bath full of blood.

The next day, Ruby washes the blood from the swimming pool topless, covered in occult tattoos, and lays in a shallow grave. That evening, she lies on the floor in front of the full moon as blood gushes from her genitals.

Sarah and Gigi drive to a fashion shoot. Sarah is not involved in the shoot, but talks with the other model as their make-up is applied, telling her that she ate a girl who got a job over her whilst Gigi looks on in repulsion and fear. Jack McCarther is fascinated with Sarah and asks her to join Gigi in the fashion shoot, firing the other girl. As the women take their place on the set in front of a pool, Gigi starts to retch and runs inside. After a few minutes, Sarah follows her, finding her in the bathroom where she throws up an eye and opens her stomach with scissors, crying that she has to get ‘her’ out of her. Unmoved, Sarah eats the eye, and returns outside to the shoot.

***END OF SPOILERS***

Okay, so this was a difficult film to watch. Not because there was a lot of gore or sinister scenes (although there was a fair amount of that), but because a lot of the messages of the film were shrouded in metaphors and you had to really give the film all your attention to catch what it was the filmmakers were saying. I believe that this is a film about the modelling industry on the surface, but underneath it is about feminine sexuality linked to innocence and the perverted male and female obsession with beauty. Narcissism, jealousy and power trips are all outcomes of these loosened moral boundaries, and the result ended in chaos and violence.

This was a film with a lot to say, and I think that because these things are all closely linked in the real world, a book would be a better medium used to explore these intermingling and complex ideas. As it is, the film does convey a lot of that message, but sacrifices a lot of its potential audience in the process.

Scores on the doors:

Gore 7/10
There isn’t a lot of gore in this film – a lot of the damage is done off screen, and the audience is forced to imagine the carnage being done. However, blood is never far from the screen, from the first scene at the photoshoot to one of the final shots with a pool of blood on the floor. This leant itself to the dreamy atmosphere of the film, but lacked a bit of bite.

Disturbance/Creepiness 8/10
This was a film founded on the erotic creepiness, the darkness permeating through and infecting the beauty industry, and this is produced mostly by the incredible cinematography, although all men but one are creepy as fuck, and handle the models as if they were their own puppets, playing at tea with their plastic dolls and pitting them against each other (similar to real life, amirite, ladies?).

Originality 9/10
Although this film has been slated for borrowing bits from other surrealist filmmakers (Dali, Buñuel, Lynch), this film does only exactly that: it borrows. Inspired by these directors, the film is leant the dreamlike quality that only the surrealists could achieve with the dramatic urgency of a horror film. It is also an insightful and necessary film, reflective of today’s problematic morals and priorities.

Scariness (behind-the-sofa factor) 4/10
So this film was not scary. Not at all. Not in a ‘I’m holding my hands over my eyes, I can’t watch this’ sort of way, anyway. However, the fact that we place so much pressure on beauty, especially female beauty, that this sort of thing may come to pass preyed on my mind long after the credits stopped rolling.

Music score 9/10
With my penchant for orchestral scores, I was pleasantly surprised by this movie’s electro soundtrack. The other-worldly atmosphere of the score gave a slightly futuristic and insistent beat to the story unfolding, which made you unsure if whether you were watching was a fashionable party, or the quickening heartbeat of a victim.

Weapons 5/10
Other than some knives and a pair of scissors, the metaphorical weapon was the veil of beauty, which not only covers the wearer with an impenetrable shield, but infects passers by with enough jealousy and obsession to either stamp out or obtain the owner.

Cinematography/direction 10/10
Neon-coloured palettes and geometric shapes were a motif in Refn’s interpretation, as well as symmetric shots and pops of colours in otherwise bleak surroundings. This is truly a film to be experienced rather than watched, and the cinematography plays a larger role in the unsettling tone of the movie than the plot itself.

Setting 7/10
Set in L.A, we assume in modern times, the bright lights and sunny streets never play a part in this film, which is almost entirely made up of shots of interiors. This hints at an isolated and artificial living space for the characters, informing their behaviour and encouraging the worst in humankind.

Script 8/10
Observant and well-written, the script grounded the film, which otherwise would have floated off into obscurity with the giant, unreachable balloon of its cinematography. The scenes where the women converse are the most interesting, mimicking the forced sincerity and sceptical attention of competitors meeting the next big thing.

Entertainment 8/10
Although I massively enjoyed this and would have awarded the experience a higher score, I recognise that this is in no way the film for everybody, and in fact isolates some of the more casual viewers with a film style that might feel overstated for some and incredibly underwhelming for others.

Overall: 75/100

Throughout this film, I got very strong Black Swan vibes (circa 2011): potentially from the plot, also following competing women, but mostly from the style. Both enigmatic in their approach to horror, their delight comes in the unexpected: and as horror fans know that more often than not there are certain rules of the genre, this is a welcome and refreshing change. Had this been filmed in a more ‘traditional’ horror style, it would have passed, unremarked, in the theatres and taken its place as a B list slasher film, with no originality. As it is, the creepiness supplied by the cinematography, the superb acting from the female leads as well as the incredibly original music score came together to create a surrealist horror film, which no doubt will not please everyone, but which highlighted topics that the genre has not given enough screen time or attention.

Sarah and Gigi at the final photoshoot.

Jessabelle (2016)

Uhhhh….

Okay, I’m going to be honest – I didn’t actually keep my eye on this film the entire time. It was meant to be something fun to keep me happy on the sofa on a dreary morning in England, and my God, even the English weather sparkled in comparison. Its critical reception ranged from mixed to negative, with only 26% on Rotten Tomatoes, and an average 5.4 on IMDb.

The plot (or lack thereof), follows Jessabelle, aka Jessie, in the deep south of America as she recovers from a serious car accident that killed her unborn child and resulted in her being confined to a wheelchair. She moves in with her creepy father, and ‘spooky’ shit starts to go down. And when I say ‘spooky’, I mean jumpscares.

The film starts off quite quickly, with an appearance from the entity within the first 10 minutes. Jessie finds three videotapes of her deceased mother while she explores her new room, and her Mother directly addresses her on them, calling her by her first name and reading her fortune from a set of Tarot cards that her friend Moses from Church had taught her how to use. Although her mother predicts a female presence in the house that wants Jessie out, the fortune has little to nothing to do with Jessie’s life otherwise. Her father interrupts her watching this tape and stamps on it, telling her that ‘that monster’ in the tape wasn’t her mother. Jessie watches, devastated and powerless.

***SPOILERS***

When a nurse visits Jessabelle to monitor her progress, Jessie is attacked in the bathroom whilst in the bath by a dark, female figure, which is covered from head to toe in tar or a dark, sticky liquid. When Jessie is pinned against a wall by the figure, the nurse and her father run in, and the presence disappears, leaving an emotionally vulnerable Jessie to figure it out on her own.

Although Jessie told her father that the tape of her Mother was the only one she had found, she watches another and is caught by her father. In a vicious huff, he storms out to the shed and sets the videotape alight, but is caught himself in the fire, and cannot exit the shed. Jessie is forced to watch him burn alive, trapped herself within the large house, unable to act.

Her father’s body is taken away, and at the funeral she reconnects with a high school friend, Preston. After he stays the night with her, asleep on a chair by her bed, she begs him to stay and talk to her about her experiences. After hearing her story, he reasons that her Mother made wrong predictions with her Tarot cards, and that the only reason that Jessie felt at all in danger was because one thing came partly true. Jessie is relieved, and he leaves her.

Later that night, Jessie watches a tape in which her Mother and Father announce that they are pregnant during a happy, family Christmas party. Another shows her Mother talking directly to her, and shouting that she is dead. She hits the camera as if in grief and it falls from its prop. Scared and shaken, Jessie phones Preston, only for another woman to pick up the phone and hang up when told who is calling. She finds another tape concealed behind a thin wall.

The next day, she meets Preston and they explore the Bayou. In the water, he finds a doll, and they discover a small grave, with ‘Jessabelle’ written on it, and Jessie’s same birthday. Preston theorises that she could have a dead twin, which she dismisses. Preston digs up a small coffin, with the bones of an infant inside. They call the police, who say they will get in contact if the bones share DNA with her Father and Jessie.

That night, Jessie goes to sleep at Preston’s, feeling unsafe in her own home, and meets his horrible wife. The next day, they head off to meet her Mother’s old cook, who she had mentioned in a tape. The woman chants in Haitian, which her son translates as an old song to summon a spirit to possess the body of a living. After the woman pulls her hair, Preston wheels her away and they try to find the church where Moses taught her mother tarot cards, but stumble on a shrine, at the base of which lies a dead goat. There they find a photo of Moses, which state he died the day that Jessie was born. A group of men threaten them with guns to vacate the shrine, which they do very bloody quickly.

They return to Jessie’s, and Preston tells her to collect her things, as she’s not going to be staying there. They go inside to pack her things, and Preston takes her out to the car wrapped in a blanket. As he gets in beside her, he discovers it isn’t Jessie, but the shadowy presence. They struggle, and his head is slammed into the ground. The ambulance comes to take him away, and the police officer reveals that after examination, the baby skeleton’s spine had been snapped: she had been murdered. Jessie realises that the ghostly figure doesn’t mean harm – she needs help.

After waving away the sheriff, she lights some candles and attempts to make contact. The TV switches on and another tape plays: her Mother talks to the baby Jessie, putting a pillow over her for a few moments, before relenting and shooting herself offscreen. The ghost of her mother appears beside her and shows Jessie a series of flashbacks to reveal that her baby did not belong to Jessie’s father: Moses and she had had a baby girl, and flying into a rage, her father had murdered the baby before setting Moses’ house alight. Jessie asks what she can do. The ghost of Moses comes out of the shadow, and together they tie Jessie to her chair. Outside, they wheel her off a dock, into the bayou. Underwater, the presence, now revealing herself to be the trueborn Jessabelle, takes her mother’s bracelet which she wore always, and resurfaces in Jessie’s body. Preston finds her and pulls her out of the water, and the sheriff asks if she is okay. The creature in Jessie’s body smiles, and says ‘it’s Jessabelle’.

***END OF SPOILERS***

Okay so wow. There were a few great features: for example, some of the acting was average-pretty good, there was a lovely contrast in filming night and day, and there were some very strong symbols which were quite poignant, such as the bracelet and the recurrence of water.

However, on balance, this was not a good film. The pacing was everywhere, the music was far too intense and mixed incredibly loudly to the point where it dominated any visual jumpscares and the plot had more holes than a beginner’s knitting. What’s more, the use of voodoo and witchcraft in this film was linked only with black people, to the point where it started to look like a ‘Make America Great Again’ campaign message. The responses of the characters to it in the writing were pretty sketchy and borderline racist, and the entire thing left a sour taste in my mouth. Almost every other poor aspect of this film I could forgive, but this was way too far.

So, lets get down to it.

Gore 5/10
Virtually no gore, and the continual presence of the shadow from very early in the film made the whole film seem like there was no real danger, and therefore lost a lot of immediacy and tension for me. ‘Oh, the ghost is there 24/7 but doesn’t hurt anyone? How considerate.’ You see what I mean.

Disturbance/Creepiness 3/10
Really, this was weak. The storyline was weak, the buildup weak. Really, overall not great.

Originality 5/10
I will give some credit in the realm of creativity, as there are few voodoo movies out there. However, it was handled so tactlessly that it undoes any merit that this might have.

Scariness (behind-the-sofa factor) 4/10
To be fair, I was scared a little of this film. But that was primarily because all the scares were jumpscares, and therefore as soon as they were over the feeling of dread subsided and there was no ongoing tension throughout the film.

Music score 4/10
Waaaaaaay too loud. At least it was orchestral and if it was mixed properly it would have been fine. Sadly, it was not.

Weapons 2/10
Unless you count videotapes, there were none. And I’m pretty sure someone had that idea before – Hi, Samara!

Cinematography/direction 7/10
Okay, this is by far and away the best thing about the film. The exterior shots are beautiful, helped by the shooting location I presume, and the interior shots were gritty, atmospheric and dilapidated.

Setting 6/10
Beautiful Louisiana landscape which inspired a lot of this film’s plot. The setting changed a lot, showing us quite a lot of the sleepy town and beautiful bayou, and this was really nice to see.

Script 4/10
Oh dear oh dear. The script was not good. That is all.

Entertainment 5/10
As I said before, I couldn’t even get through this with two eyes on it.

Overall: 45/100

So overall, I’d say that the direction and cinematography really stole the show on this one – although there is definitely a strong case for style over substance. The actors who played Jessie and her Mother were very good, there was a romance that I actually sort of rooted for and the setting was lovely. But this film was dwarfed by a concept that the script failed to get off the ground, as well as an insensitive depiction of black culture and white purity. This is something that would be better to watch in a group of friends, mostly to laugh and make fun of the idiotic and empty script and scare fails. If you don’t like modern horror films – I would suggest to avoid this film altogether, although I am interested to see what the director and the two actors do next.

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016)

A cheeky little film that came out of nowhere, I saw the trailer for I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House only a few days before it came out on Netflix, and the stunning cinematography and intriguing vagueness of the storyline made me say a decisive ‘yep’.

Some of the reviews are very indignant that there are absolutely no jumpscares in this film, nor gore, a horror reflected in the scores awarded on IMDb (4.8/10) and Rotten Tomatoes (67%). However, this is a film completely built on creepy atmosphere, an isolated setting and a growing sense of paranoia. Old-school. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing in my book, but in this world of remakes and preference for jumpscares galore, that isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea. So if it isn’t, please don’t watch this film. You’ll feel you’ve wasted your time, and other people will think you’re being a dick for not appreciating the slow-burning horror.

That being said, there are gigantic holes in the plot. Like, massive. As someone who is very good at seeing the best in horror films, especially good-looking ones (I know, I know, I’m super shallow, get over it), it took me a while after the film was over for me to think… Hang on! Something’s amiss here…

But otherwise, with a beautiful setting, ambiance pouring out of its ears and playing on the lack of scares to build up and build up a tension that is never released until the final 10 minutes, this is a creepy little chiller that opposes Hollywood horror.

Let’s get into the story, shall we?

Set in the 1970s/80s, we follow a young, jittery nurse, Lily, who is hired to be live-in help to Ms Iris Blum – a retired writer who is bedridden and receives no visitors apart from her estate manager, Mr Waxcap.

The whole film is interspersed with voice-overs from Lily, explaining that the living only ever borrow houses from the dead, and other cryptic yet creepy musings on life and death.

Ms Blum always sleeps with the radio playing, and her first evening Lily goes into her room to turn it off. Ms Blum wakes and asks for her forgiveness, calling her Polly. Lily carefully explains who she is, and is visibly shaken as she leaves the room.

She rings her friend to calm her down, and afterwards she seems a little more relaxed, although the camera roams around the barren downstairs space as if there is something watching and waiting in the many shadows.

Later, in a meeting with Mr Waxcap, Lily is told that Ms Blum was a horror writer, and that her best-known novel by far is The Woman in the Wall. Finding a hundred printings of that very book in the house, Lily entertains the thought of reading it, but is spooked out by the first page, which details that it is a true story, told directly to Ms Blum by the ghost of Polly, an early-19^th century bride that came to a grisly end on her wedding night, and puts the book down.

***SPOILER ALERT***

A year later, she is settled in the house, and she brushes Ms Blum’s hair for her. Ms Blum decides to be a little creepy and explains that Polly didn’t tell her the end of her story, although it was generally accepted that it was particularly grim, and so she refused to write an ending to her book, out of respect to the ghost.

Lily finds a storage box in the cupboard which says ‘Polly’ on it, takes it down and peeks inside. She finds a number of letters addressed to Polly from Ms Blum, suggesting that either the ghost really does exist, or is not just some figment of Ms Blum’s imagination, borne out of the obsession with her best-selling novel. The letters disturb Lily, and she puts the box back.

Downstairs, she remarks that the black mould on a part of the wall is getting bigger, and rings up a professional to come to the house in the next few days to check it out as she is worried about Ms Blum’s health.

Later, she tries to turn on the TV which has been playing up since the beginning of the film. While she is trying to adjust the bunny ears, the TV shuts off, and the ghost of Polly is reflected in the blackness of the screen. Lily jumps and turns around, and there is nothing there. She cautiously explores the whole downstairs and eventually, when she looks at the part of the wall covered in mould, she finally sees Polly and is so scared that she dies of fright.

A few days later, the mould inspectors come and no-one answers the door. They notify Mr Waxcap, and he uncovers Lily, dead on the inside of the door, and Ms Blum, without proper care, is dead in her bed.

Lily states again that the living merely borrow their homes from the dead in a voiceover played over scenes of a new family moving into the house, seemingly unaware of the film’s events.

***SPOILERS END HERE***

Okay, so it’s a little bit odd, right? Like, these events could easily be avoided – right? Mr Maxcap details early in the film that Ms Blum’s estate is worth a little money, so she could have moved. However, being bedridden, and obsessed with the ghost that she thinks is her friend, it wouldn’t be feasible to move the old woman. Lily, however, can simply be reassigned if she chooses – so why doesn’t she? Especially considering how skittish she is, and how uncomfortable she feels in the presence of Ms Blum. Maybe pride, but maybe also she is drawn to the house, sensing a tortured soul inside, and as she is a nurse and heals people for a living, thinks that she can help.

Classic mistake.

So, let’s get down to business (to defeat the huns).

There is absolutely no gore in this film – in fact, there is absolutely nothing that would push it over a PG rating. A little gore, I think, would have made this film. As it stands, the ending wasn’t satisfying and there seemed little to no consequence for the characters and therefore nothing to really grip the audience and make this a memorable horror film.

That being said, this is possibly the creepiest film I have ever seen. A horror veteran, I was hiding behind a cushion for around 40% of this film thanks to the cinematography. However, the plot itself wasn’t disturbing – sure a ghost ooh spooky, but the plot behind the ghost was, disappointingly, nothing.

This is an old-fashioned haunted house film, but with new cinematic techniques. The 3 female protagonists are incredibly and deftly played by the cast, but at the end, this film was pretty basic.

The music was orchestral and low-key, and never interrupted the cinematic beauty of the film, which I appreciate after being subjected to high-volume scores which add to the startling jumpscares which, to me, just seems like cheating. The music itself was soft, sad and almost romantic, and was pitch-perfect for its film counterpart.

Okay, okay, I know I’ve said this a lot, but the cinematography was BEAUTIFUL. From interesting camera angles that were held for waaaay too long and instilled a sense of dread, from the stunning colour contrast of the white nurse uniform that Lily wore and blackberries in one wonderful scene, and the empty black void of doorways that the camera concentrated on, symbolising the divide between life and death. The oftentimes asymmetrical camera angles gave the impression that something was a little off, adding to the paranoia that I felt watching it.

The film is confined only to one setting – the house. This white, Amityville-esque house is perfectly symmetrical when we are shown the outside (which is only once or twice), but inside it extends into a large, empty labyrinth of rooms, with minimal clutter and nothing for the audience to examine but the characters themselves. This emptiness is sometimes compromised by some disgusting wallpaper, but there is emptiness nonetheless, forcing you to concentrate solely on the story and wait for the ghost.

The script is a meditation on the meaning of life and death, the examination of a young woman and her deep-seated fear of death and therefore the unknown and therefore: ghosts. It’s also a melancholic exploration of growing old and sick, our bodies rotting away from under us, and our minds deteriorating with self-doubt and, worse, with unwavering, stubborn belief that will never be rewarded or recognised. Some of it is too vague for me, but I appreciated the voice-overs of especially Polly, although Lily was interesting to explore as well.

Overall, this film had me by the throat from the beginning. Although nothing really happens, the atmosphere, flawless cinematography and intriguing script enchanted me, and made me think that rather than label this a horror, I would hazard it is much more a gothic philosophical ode to death and life. Some people, however, may not appreciate this – if you usually like Hollywood horror fare, don’t watch this!

Gore    4/10

Disturbance/Creepiness         8/10

Originality       6/10

Scariness (behind-the-sofa factor)     6/10

Music score     9/10

Weapons         N/A

Cinematography/direction     10/10

Setting             9/10

Script               8/10

Entertainment             9/10

Overall            69/90

I would highly recommend this little cracker – especially if you like slow-burning, psychological horror and are less keen on gore. Enjoy!

Severance (2006)

This movie was first introduced to me in 2010 by a friend. I remember enjoying it, but getting a bit lost in the middle. Now, watching it four years later, I can safely say that it wasn’t my fault – it is a confusing movie, which is not necessarily a bad thing. This movie is a lot of films all rolled into one: a horror, a comedy, a British independent production, a home invasion, an action and a slasher flick all thrown into one.

Released in 2006 and directed by Christopher Smith (known also for Triangle and Creep), it has pretty consistent scores across the board from IMDb, Metascore and Rotten Tomatoes (6.6, 62/100 and 64%). This neat little 91 minute flick follows 7 members of a company on a team-building weekend in Eastern Europe after a tour promoting their company and its product: warfare.

The opening scene is a titillating promise of things to come: melodic, light-hearted waltz music plays as a background to intermittent bursts of the camera following two women being chased through a forest. From here on out, the action is a bit more subdued, and doesn’t really get going until about 20 minutes later.

We are next introduced to our team: Rich, the wet-blanket; Billy, the secretary; Steve, the pervert; Maggie, the good girl; Gordon, the annoying optimist; Jill, the feminist and Harris, the bully. They were so stereotypical that I gave them their personality counterparts before even learning their real names. Anyway, they are making their way to a company lodge for a weekend of team-building, when the coach stops suddenly: there is a tree in the middle of the road, blocking their route. The suck-up argues with the driver who only speaks a foreign language. When he mentions the alternative route to their destination on the map, the driver reacts forcibly, refusing point blank to take them that way. As a result, the group descends and is forced to search for the lodge on foot.

*SPOILERS*

At the lodge, a delightful residence decorated with broken windows, torn wallpaper and an overgrown garden, the bully finds loads of files in a dilapidated shed outside. Back inside, the group eats a pie and discusses conspiracies from around the area: a mental asylum, a detention centre and even a ‘sex lodge’. The discussion is interrupted as Steve discovers a tooth in the pie. Later that night a man appears at Jill’s window, spooking them all. Wooden planks are discovered in the trees when the men go outside to investigate.

The next morning, Jill and Harris go to look for signal to call the coach to come and collect them. They find the coach abandoned and the driver dead nearby. Meanwhile, the rest of the team play paintball. Gordon backs onto a bear trap, and after several attempts to remove his leg only to have the contraption snap back onto it, his leg falls off completely. Jill and Harris return with the coach and they all bundle on, speeding away. The coach is ambushed and breaks down. Harris is beheaded and Jill is set alight by a flame-thrower.

When the rest of the group regains consciousness, they stumble back to the lodge. A delusional Gordon declares his love to Maggie until given some of Steve’s ecstasy to take the edge off of his pain. Maggie and Steve have a conversation, agreeing that their best chance of survival is to leave Gordon at the Lodge while they run for help. Unbeknownst to them, a shadowy figure moves behind them, dragging Gordon with him.

Maggie, Steve, Billy and Rich discover that Gordon has gone missing and find a hidden staircase to a cellar below the building. They find cells reminiscent of the asylum stories that they had told around the table, and Gordon is found with a symbol carved out of his stomach flesh. The group flees and is chased by a madman with a shotgun. Billy is fatally wounded, and Maggie almost cries out as they find the wound together, in the most touching death of the whole film. He collapses into her arms, and she puts his jacket over his face, honouring him in death.

*DEFINITE SPOILERS*

This is where Maggie really comes into her own as a character. She marches back into the room with a dead, massacred Gordon lying on a table, and pulls a machete out of a long plank of wood.

Upstairs, Steve sees Rich escaping alone outside, having abandoned the other two and ironically revealing his weakness of being part of a team – the very reason they all came to the lodge in the first place. He hides in a cupboard while the mysterious killer creaks around on the rickety floorboards. Maggie comes up the stairs and confronts him. They struggle, and he ends up plummeting through the floorboards. He is killed by a shotgun shell to the head, as Maggie explains ‘I’d hate to be accused of not killing him when I had the chance’. Smart girl.

Steve and Maggie stumble outside, coming face to face with several more killers. They come across Rich, who has stepped on a land mine (ironically, one of their company’s). He instructs Maggie and Steve how to avoid the mines and then, when the killers find him, taunt him and attempt to cross the land mine, he activates the mine, taking out himself and a killer or two.

Steve and Maggie find the lodge where they were supposed to be heading to the whole time. Their boss and two escorts great them, and when told about the situation, pulls out a bazooka to ward off the assailants. Unfortunately, the bazooka misses them, and instead fires into the air, hitting a plane. Everyone is forced to run.

Maggie is captured in the forest, and the two escorts fall into a pit. Steve battles 3 assailants as Maggie fights her captor who attempts to rape her. They all finally free themselves and escape across the lake to safety, Steve being comforted by Maggie.

*SPOILER-FREE ZONE*

Gore 6/10
Weirdly, some gorey bits are implied rather than shown directly on-screen. That would be fine, although lots of the extreme gore in this movie is shown onscreen whilst the straightforward kills aren’t shown.

Creepy 7/10
The multi-setting is very creepy, the scary stories that the group shares over the meal and the fact that the killer is not shown on-camera until towards the end of the film lends the movie a creepy atmosphere

Originality 7/10
This film has a bit of everything; its dark humour helps provide some sort of comic relief for the scenes which are laced with gore, and the storyline is more a matter of opinion rather than a linear progression of events.

Scariness 5/10
Smith relies on some jumpscares, which, annoyingly, are made even ‘scarier’ by ridiculously amplified sound. However, the reality of the situation is not lost on these characters: instead of playing heroes like most horror movies, they run and abandon their team members, which makes for a good discussion on morality and ethics.

Music score 7/10
Loved it. Often completely mis-matched with what the shots were depicting, the music was a neat little way to introduce comedy.

Weapons 7/10
Ironically, our team works for a weapons manufacturer, and some of their own products crop up in the movie. Some of the most bad-ass weapons include: a flame-thrower, machete and land mine.

Cinematography 7/10
Despite lots of ‘watching from the shadows’ shots which get a bit annoying, Smith uses episodic shots and seems to me reminiscent of Edgar Wright.

Setting 8/10
There is a huge map in this film which includes loads of nooks and crannies in a forest, cellar and creepy lodge. This wide variety in setting does not limit the action to one place which typically begs the question as to why the characters are staying there and not fleeing for their lives.

Script 7/10
The script is witty and fast-paced. The actors are not tied down by a bad script and are able to shine. However, my main complaint would be the glaringly obvious stereotypes.

Entertainment value 7/10
As well as being guffaw-out-loud funny, Danny Dyer is doing what Danny Dyer does best: being loud and cockney. Who doesn’t enjoy that? The short run time of 91 minutes also never allows the action to drag, despite the slow start.

OVERALL SCORE: 69/100

Overall, I really liked this movie. Sure, the plot can be confusing and seem contrived at some points, however that’s only looking back on it. Whilst watching it, I never once thought that it followed an illogical angle, and the multitude of storylines that it provides leaves you thinking about it long after the credits have run. I would say that the acting was solid, with stand-out performances from Tim McInnery (Rich) and David Gilliam (George/boss). If not shit-your-pants scary, this film was at least entertaining, and had an interesting social commentary that not many films of this genre even attempt.

Innocence (2004)

I entered the universe of Innocence with some misconceptions – and that is undoubtedly the worst way to go about it. My mind had been manipulated by reviews and rumours about possible paedophilia nuances which ruined my initial impressions of the film.

Although I wouldn’t class it as a horror film, rather more like a surreal romp in and out of both our fantasies and nightmares, it picks up on the human fear and curiosity of the outside world from within a dreamlike girl’s boarding school. Seemingly a bizarre experiment of how long young girls, relatively untouched by adult influence, can maintain the pinnacle of innocence, it is interspersed with beautiful imagery of a fairytale forest punctuated with hanging bulbs as well as decidedly less idealistic still shots of an underground tunnel system found underneath the school’s ‘safe’ walls.

The director, Lucile Hadzilhalilovic, contrasts the dreamy atmosphere with very specific symbolism – the girls wear all white except for the ribbons they tie in their hair to identify them by age, the movie bookended with running water which is also used throughout, and shots of clocks as well as the sound of ticking providing the background for many of the scenes. These motifs suggest innocence, calmness or rebirth and time running out. I found that this gave something for the film to work towards, and although the mystery of the water eludes me somewhat I found that these motifs linked the otherwise vague dialogue and shots of nature very neatly.

The innocence is explored through jealousy, Bianca’s coming of age and Alice’s curiosity. Although the girls were young, they were exceedingly talented – I found Bianca and Alice especially interesting to watch. This innocence is reflected in the script: it is wonderfully vague, and every rule broken is through action (eg: Alice’s running away, Bianca’s examination of herself naked and Iris being thrashed by a jealous peer with a stick).

The setting is also very interesting. The complex of houses and the forest which surrounds them are labyrinths. Despite the beautiful imagery of lamps in a forest lighting the way in darkness, this entire world is penned in by a menacing wall, designed (seemingly) to keep the girls in rather than anything out.

The cinematography is very admirable and often there are purely beautiful sequences. However, the landscape shots are often too lingering, which makes the whole film seem to drag through its 112 minutes.

There is not a lot of music throughout the film, excluding the piano music which provides the backing for most scenes, apart from the nature of the forest and the continual ticking of the clock.

Although I could not say that this film is a horror film, there is a very creepy atmosphere which counters (or perhaps is emphasised by) the surreal aspects of the movie. For example, Iris is beaten with a stick while she cries, the girls put on shows for anonymous customers, when Alice escapes the teachers instruct the girls that she has been bad and that they must never speak of her again in addition to the girls arriving to the school in big oak coffins with symbols carved into it.

The decidedly positive ending suggests that a happy ending awaits every ‘well-behaved’ little girl, and that innocence is a transitional period which is what everyone must endure in order to be enlightened.

 

Finally, the results.

Gore – 7/10 (there is not a lot of it, but what is shown is good and fitting)

Disturbing/creepy – 8/10

Originality – 9/10

Scariness (behind-the-sofa factor) – 5/10

Music score – 5/10

Weapons – N/A apart from a whipping stick, which was not used to commit any murders, so I discount it completely

Cinematography – 9/10

Setting – 9/10

Script – 8/10

Entertainment – 7/10

 

Overall: 75/90

American Psycho (2000)

Based on the 1991 novel of the same title satirising the consumer mentality and capitalist agenda of the maze that was 1980s America, this film centres around the greed and narcissism that was cultivated by this culture. With 67% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.6/10 on IMDb and 3.5/5 on allociné, this film showcases Christian Bale in a terrifying powerhouse performance, recognised by Bloody Disgusting’s list of the Top 20 horror films of the decade. Directed by Mary Harron and lasting 101 minutes, Reese Witherspoon and Willem Dafoe join Bale to make up the extensive cast, this film is a modern critique of a world which prioritises money and appearance over everything else.

Enter Patrick Bateman (Bale), successful broker, late-80s music enthusiast and unhinged psychopath as he guides the viewer through the film with a voice-over. We watch Bateman’s morning routine, from his facemask, shower gel brand and his workout routine. We are slowly introduced to his friends and fiancée (Witherspoon), all as superficial as he is and disliked by Bateman. Early on in the film, Bateman’s cool exterior is broken as he says to a bartender, who cannot hear him over the noise of the club: ‘you’re a fucking ugly bitch. I wanna stab you, then play around in your blood’.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Angered after Paul Allen (a co-worker) shows him up at the office with an imperceptivity better business card, Bateman brutally stabs a homeless man and his dog after lecturing him for being unambitious. At a Christmas party, Allen mistakes Bateman for another broker Marcus Halberstram and they arrange to have dinner. Bateman gets Allen drunk and leads him back to his apartment where he murders him with an axe to the soundtrack of ‘Hip to be Square’. After disposing of the corpse, he goes to Allen’s apartment and stages it to appear as if he had fled to London.

Detective Donald Kimball (Dafoe) later comes to Bateman’s work and asks him about Allen’s disappearance. That night, Bateman hires two sex workers, who he names Sabrina and Christie, and has sex with them both whilst looking at himself in the mirror. Afterwards, he opens up a drawer of torture equipment. Bloodied and distraught, the women leave the flat.

The next day, Luis Carruthers, a clingy colleague of Bateman’s, shows him his new business card. Enraged by what he feels is an inferior stylish man, Bateman attempts to strangle him in the bathroom of a restaurant. However, Carruthers mistakes it for a sexual advance and proceeds to declare his love for Bateman. Disgusted, Bateman leaves.

He invites Jean, his infatuated secretary to his apartment, where he talks to her whilst deciding on the means with which to kill her. However, he is interrupted by a phone call from his fiancée and asks Jean to leave. At lunch the next day, his fiancée attempts to convince him that he is not suspected, seemingly ignoring his increasingly unstable arguments.

Later, he invites Christie and his friend Elizabeth to Allen’s apartment, where they praise the location. He has a threesome with them, and murders Elizabeth in the process. Horrified, Christie runs and discovers various female corpses scattered around the apartment. Bateman chases her from room to room with a chainsaw in his white boxer briefs and finally to a flight of stairs, where he manages to drop the chainsaw onto her.

After breaking off his engagement, he attempts to feed a kitten to an ATM machine and shoots an old woman who tries to stop him. Hearing the gunshots, the police give chase, but Bateman defeats them by shooting their gas tanks. Entering a building, he shoots the security guard dead before hiding in an office and leaving his lawyer a desperate voicemail, detailing his hideous acts and admitting to their monstrosity.

The next day, he returns to Paul’s apartment expecting to find a crime scene, but instead finds the flat clean and on the market. After a bizarre encounter with the realtor where she insinuates that she had to clean the apartment, Bateman leaves. Meanwhile, Jean finds disturbing drawings in Bateman’s notebook at his office.

Seeing his lawyer at a restaurant, Bateman admits to his murderous past, which his lawyer scoffs at, stating that he had dinner with Allen in London mere days ago. Finally, Bateman admits to himself that he will continue to elude punishment, avoiding catharsis, and that his confession was for nothing.

***END OF SPOILERS***

Besides the intriguing plot and the potential for multiple interpretations, Harron directs American Psycho with skill, using shots of Batman’s reflection in mirrors to emphasis his fakery, and the narrated voice-over provides an otherwise hidden look into Bateman’s psyche with the direct address affronting the audience and making them his accomplices. Bruised vanity is also amplified, with Bateman overreacting to business cards and the other men competing over how stylish they are.

This film is also a study of human cruelty and willingness for the upper classes to sweep things under the rug in order to avoid scandal (or, arguably, the inevitable mental instability that obsession with consumerism breeds), as a string of mistaken identity leads to Bateman being confused with other people. This also suggests that all these people act, look and think the same and are indistinguishable from each other.

The gore is well-executed with make-up, and often it is subdued and done off-camera, which is effective and makes the scenes that are graphic much more shocking. Although I didn’t find it overly scary, the mentality of the wealthy upper-classes literally getting away with murder is about as creepy as it gets for me, and Bale gives an outstanding performance as the unhinged Bateman, adding to the disturbance factor. A horror film about Manhattan’s elite is quite original, as the setting is not a popular choice for the preferred isolation of the horror genre, which I found refreshing. Murder to the score of 80s upbeat music? Sold! And the weapons were varied and imaginative. Overall, this film is perfect if you’re looking for a well-made, visually pleasing and competently executed horror film with a bite of witty satire, this is the film for you.

***THE RESULTS***

Gore    8/10

Disturbance/Creepiness      9/10

Originality      8/10

Scariness (behind-the-sofa factor)      6/10

Music score     7/10

Weapons       8/10

Cinematography/direction      9/10

Setting     7/10

Script       8/10

Entertainment      9/10

Overall      79/100

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

This is quite a niche film, but adds to the dialogue surrounding the easy access to weapons in America. I read the book before I saw the film, and to be honest I was doubtful in any director’s ability to pull off the style of the book – it follows Eva writing letters to her (supposedly) estranged husband Franklin. However, Lynne Ramsay, the director, really surprised me: the book and film are a lot more similar than I would have thought, although Ramsay does (rightly) drop the use of letters and tells the story without narration. What Ramsay also does is tells the story from a non-linear perspective. We follow Eva through the grieving process through flashbacks and current situations. However, just for simplicity’s sake, I’ll rattle through the scenes as if the film were linear.

Eva and Franklin are a happy urban couple. They live in the city, are financially secure, and Eva is fascinated with the unknown – she is the editor for her own travelling guides. So what could upset this fine balance? A baby.

Eva gives birth to a baby boy, all to the soundscape of a nurse telling her repeatedly to ‘stop resisting’. Kevin is born, and from the very start his relationship with his mother is unstable. He roars and roars during the day, so much so that Eva pushes the buggy right next to a building site to try and muffle his cries. She stands there in pure relief when she can’t hear him, but Kevin yells louder and she moves away.

Whenever Franklin gets back from work, Kevin is always a lot more receptive and calm, with no screaming. As a result, Franklin thinks that Eva is not handling her role as a Mother well, and Eva starts to resent Kevin.

As Kevin grows, Franklin decides that they need a bigger space. Much to Eva’s chagrin, he buys a house in the suburbs. She tries to settle in, and puts up maps all over the walls of her new office. However, Kevin disapproves, calling them ‘dumb’, and sprays the walls with ink from a toy gun, completely ruining the office. Eva loses her temper and smashes the gun underneath her feet. Later that evening, Franklin relays that Kevin is really sorry to Eva, and whilst Franklin believes it, Eva doesn’t.

Still in nappies, Kevin continues to torment Eva, soiling himself in front of her and making her change him. As she finishes changing him, he soils himself again. In a fit of rage, Eva grabs his arms and handles him roughly, resulting in a trip to hospital. Kevin doesn’t tell Franklin the truth, but he does manipulate Eva through her guilt and even more so through her desperation to not be caught, and forces her to do things that he wants.

Kevin falls ill, and throughout his illness is a lot calmer and wants Eva rather than Franklin, the opposite dynamic to which the parents are normally accustomed. Eva reads him Robin Hood and warms to him, but this development is short lived. As soon as he is better, Kevin goes back to his old ways.

His interest in Robin Hood develops, and Franklin buys him a bow and arrow and a target for special occasions, with the equipment getting more advanced as Kevin grows older.

Eva gets pregnant again, and holds off on telling Franklin as she doesn’t want an abortion, a deception which he is not happy about. A little girl, Celia, is born, and in the hospital Kevin flicks water onto her. Celia and Kevin’s relationship is perceived by Eva to be fraught, with an incident of a dead hamster in the sink and a particularly nasty ‘accident’ with bleach, which causes Celia to need a prosthetic eye and completely destroys her relationship with Franklin, with whom she constantly argues about Kevin’s sociopathic behaviour. Franklin decides that he wants a divorce and Eva is distraught.

A little before his 16^th birthday, Kevin locks his peers and classmates into his school’s gymnasium and opens fire on them with his bow and arrow. Confused, Eva waits outside the school with the other distraught pupils and adults, realising as Kevin emerges, a look of victory plastered on his face, that she needn’t have worried.

When she gets home, Eva discovers Celia and Franklin outside, fatally shot with arrows, a sprinkler gently watering the grass in the background.

Eva lives by herself in a rundown house in a shady part of town, in a job with which she seems dissatisfied, surrounded by creepy and unfriendly colleagues and neighbours which take it upon themselves to throw red paint on her house. She is scared of everything and everyone, and avoids any kind of social interaction, as if to punish herself more. The only person who she regularly sees is Kevin. She visits him at a Juvenile Facility. He usually seems as smarmy and sly as usual, but the final scene shows him scared of prison, as he is graduating to ‘big school’ after his 18^th birthday. Eva seems unimpressed, but at the end of the scene, she embraces him and he reciprocates, leaving their future uncertain.

Gun control is a huge topic in the US at the moment, which is why this film is so important. Granted, it isn’t about a school shooter, but it does talk about children absorbing this culture of violence and implementing that in their life. However, it also explores whether a person can truly be born evil, or whether it has something to do with their upbringing. I am not convinced that Kevin would be anything other than a sociopath, although the way Eva was reluctant to have him to start and continues down that route to ultimately end up very very close to hatred does not help him move away from his sociopathic nature. Ironically, it isn’t Eva who he kills, but his Father and sister. This suggests either that he has a morbid fascination with Eva or he wants to torture her by taking away the two people she truly loved.

***SPOILERS END HERE***

I love this film – it has a great political and psychological message, the style is beautifully achieved by director Lynne Ramsay and the way that the actors played their roles is truly wonderful to watch.

Ramsay does a great job with subtly bombarding the audience with subliminal messages: the colour red follows Eva around, Kevin’s target in the same shots as Eva and the background noise of the sprinkler to mount the tension. These motifs help the film drop hints about the ending without completely ruining the film – the plot unfurls like a delicious chocolate treat from a wrapper, and the ending packs a real punch as it is implied subtly throughout the whole film without resorting to the ‘ending-scene-starting-the-film’ trick.

Gore 3/10

Disturbance/Creepiness 8/10

Originality 8/10

Scariness (behind-the-sofa factor) 8/10

Music score 8/10

Weapons 6/10

Cinematography/direction 9/10

Setting 5/10

Script 9/10

Entertainment 9/10

Overall 73/100

The Frighteners (1996)

Directed by Peter Jackson (Brain Dead and The Hobbit) and starring Michael J. Fox (Back to the Future), this horror-comedy is rated 64% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.2/10 on IMDb and 3.6 on allocine. Its poor performance in the box office doesn’t overshadow the praise that it has garnered from critics and the cult following that it has accumulated over the years. I found this film theoretically flawed but pleasantly mind-numbing to watch.

The film opens at a typically haunted-looking house, with a woman and her mother battling an entity that comes out of the carpets and mirrors. Lucy, a physician, is called to the house and is greeted icily by the mother. She treats her daughter, Patricia, and learns that the mother emotionally abuses her and says that she is ‘not to be trusted’, after Patricia’s dubious involvement in a massacre that took place 30 years ago with her then-boyfriend Johnny Bartlett. Johnny was executed by the electric chair and now Patricia lives with her Mother.

Meanwhile, Frank Bannister (Fox) drives erratically away from a funeral and crashes into someone’s fence. Ray, the owner of the house, comes out and angrily demands that Bannister pay for a replacement. Bannister gives him his card and drives away.

Later, Lucy returns home to Ray (who happens to be her husband). Suddenly, the house seems to come to life: the dolls start to move and the bed levitates. Panicked, they call Bannister who shows up and performs an exorcism until he is kicked out (he seems to get kicked out a lot). He drives home to a half-finished house (which is creepier than the first house), and two ghosts get out of the car and one appears in the house. It is revealed that Bannister can see the dead after having a car crash which resulted in his wife’s death.

After being called to perform another exorcism, Bannister is shown an article which slates him for being a conman (which, in effect, he is). He visits the editor of the newspaper to complain, but after being ignored he walks down the street to be greeted by the ghost of Ray. It seems that Ray was killed by what felt and looked like a heart-attack, despite being a health freak.

Ray persuades Frank to visit Lucy and later to take her to a restaurant to try to communicate with Ray. He gets angry and leaves after Lucy admits that her marriage wasn’t a happy one and she and Frank start getting closer. Frank goes to the bathroom and sees a dark figure, resembling the Grim Reaper, morphing out of the walls and mirrors and squeezing the heart of another man in the bathroom who had a number on his forehead. Frank flees, but the authorities find him and deduce (incorrectly) that he is to blame.

Frank is thrown into a holding cell and interrogated by Dammers, a paranoid creep who is convinced that Frank is the culprit for his wife’s death due to one of his tools being used to carve a number into her head (despite the fact that anyone who has the motor uses of their hands could operate that tool). Lucy visits Frank and is attacked by the Grim Reaper. Frank stops it and they manage to evade the police and escape. Frank persuades Lucy that he needs to have an out-of-body experience in order to defeat the force.

They drive to the hospital where Lucy works and Lucy puts him in the freezer after giving him drugs to slow his heart rate. Dammers shows up and abducts Lucy while Frank battles the force. It is revealed that the force is the dead Johnny Bartlett, killing people all over town and carving increasing numbers into their forehead as was his hallmark during the shooting in the hospital 30 years ago. Before Frank can defeat him, he is brought back by Lucy.

They go to find Patricia who, unknown to them, is still in love with Johnny and is able to see his ghost. Patricia goes on a murderous rampage alongside Johnny’s ghost, chasing Lucy and Frank through the house until they manage to trap Johnny’s spirit inside his ashes jar and escape. They need to take him to sacred ground to send his spirit to Hell, and Lucy points out that there is a chapel nearby in the abandoned hospital that was the scene of the shooting 30 years ago.

They are chased through the hospital by Dammers and Patricia while Frank sees visions of the hospital during the murders. Patricia accidentally shoots Dammers just before he opens the urn, releasing the spirit of Johnny. Patricia strangles Frank and he goes up to Heaven to see the spirits of Patricia and Johnny, who he pulled up with him, be swallowed up into the aching chasm of Hell.

Frank is returned to Earth after being given a blessing by his wife, and he and Lucy fall in love.

*END OF SPOILERS*

There is little to no gore in The Frighteners, which doesn’t work in its favour (as it does in other films such as Happy Games or The Others). Here, it just serves to make the film seem like a childish sequel to Ghostbusters (except spectacularly un-funny).

For some reason, the most disturbing thing in this movie to me was the disturbing relationship of Patricia and Johnny – especially the flashback scene. The depiction of hell as well was particularly creepy – the snake/entrails plunging into the fiery pits were jarring (although not as jarring as Michael J. Fox’s acting).

The Frighteners is quite original, especially in its treatment of the ghosts: their rules of physics are quite interesting, in that they can harm each other and humans can harm them.

However, the only scary thing about this film was the terrible CGI. The only other thing that came close was the flashback scene, which was more disturbing than downright scary. There is also no tension or suspense in this film, which doesn’t help the build up to any ‘big’ scare.

The music was left in the capable hands of Mr Danny Elfman (The Nightmare Before Christmas and Batman). The orchestral score was beautifully whimsical and reminiscent of the same spooky-magical score of Harry Potter.

The characters used a variety of different weapons like an axe, a knife and a shotgun. However, none of them were particularly inventive or scary.

The cinematography is very well done: there is a lot of imagery of death and cars, which reflect the guilt of Frank. I also liked how the ghosts morphed out of mirrors and under wallpaper or carpet.

There are a lot of settings in this film and they change a lot, but surprisingly the audience is able to explore quite a lot thanks to action shots of people running through buildings. However, most of them had the typically ‘haunted’ look, and the creepiest one (Frank’s dilapidated, half-finished houses which could have offered so much in the way of imagery and symbolism) was hardly explored at all. Bad job, set design crew. You could have done so much more.

The script was pretty ‘meh’ with lots of bad dad jokes and nothing that really stands out. Nothing is ground-breaking or inventive and I felt like the film coasted on the CGI and action shots.

For all its flaws, this film was kind of charming, with the highlights being the performances from Patty and Johnny, the depiction of Hell and the music.

*SCORES*

Gore 4/10

Disturbance/Creepiness 7/10

Originality 6/10

Scariness (behind-the-sofa factor) 5/10

Music score 8/10

Weapons 6/10

Cinematography/direction 7/10

Setting 6/10

Script 5/10

Entertainment 8/10

Overall 62/100

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

The fact that I am writing this review from memory says a lot about this film; I have seen it more times than I can count. Shaun of the Dead, a rom-com-zom directed by Edgar Wright is a BAFTA nominee and sparked the cult trilogy: the Cornetto trilogy. It has been awarded a 76/100 from Metacritic, an 8/10 from IMDb and 91% from Rotten Tomatoes. This 99-minute little beauty of a film crams in everything it can to keep you entertained,  but miraculously without feeling like it’s overkill: comedy, romance, bromance, action and, to top it all off, zombie attacks. Personally, this is one of my favourite films of all time, but it lacks the emphasis on horror.

The story starts out as a buddy-comedy. Shaun and his childhood best friend Ed live together with little to no future prospects: they both lack ambition, sense and have not grown out of their attachment for each other. When Shaun fails to organise something special for his three-year anniversary, his girlfriend Liz decides that enough is enough.

Devastated, Shaun and Ed spend a night drinking in their favourite pub (the Winchester), where some horror elements develop: a ‘drunk’ at the door moaning, a couple that are spotted in the distance with both of their heads seemingly broken and a man shuffling down the street responding to the raucous singing of Shaun and Ed. These indicators are simultaneously given weight with the disturbing music, but also dismissed by the humour.

*SPOILERS*

At home, Ed and Shaun have an argument with their flatmate, Pete, who was bitten earlier in the evening, who instructs Shaun to ‘sort [his] fucking life out’. Shaun obliges, and before going to sleep writes a list of what he needs to do.

The next day, Ed and Shaun wake to find a ‘drunk woman’ in their back garden. A struggle ensues and she is pushed onto a sharp, rusty umbrella stand. When she gets back up again, the camera zooms into the wound and follows it as she moves upwards and even captures the other character’s faces of terror. Another zombie, a bear-like man, is discovered right behind the two (serving as one of the few jumpscares in the film). They are defeated with a bats after basically everything in the house being thrown at them as weapons (to varying degrees of effectiveness).

Sitting down in the living room, they flick through channels: the apocalypse has happened overnight, with the country descending into panic and anarchy. As they are advised to lock all windows and doors, they realise that they have left the front door open…again. A male zombie is in the room, dressed like a groom. He is taken down with a glass ashtray.

Shaun’s Mum Barbara rings and reveals that Philip, Shaun’s stepdad with whom he has a strenuous relationship, has been bitten. After this, Shaun and Ed plan to rescue both Liz and Barbara and hole up in the Winchester to wait it out. Shaun finds a zombified Pete in the shower and the other two leave.

They go to pick up Barbara and Philip and Shaun tries to persuade Barbara to leave Philip behind. She refuses, and as they leave the house, Philip is bitten again by other zombies. They are headed off by Shaun, but the damage has been done. They arrive at Liz’s in Pete’s car to find the outside of Liz’s flat plagued by zombies. Shaun valiantly climbs up to Liz’s flat when she refuses to let him in. He persuades Liz and her friends (David and Dianne) to come with him, with Liz affirming that it is not because she wants to get back together.

In the car, Philip explains that he wanted to be the role model for Shaun and that he always knew Shaun could do great things. After a heartfelt speech, he dies in Shaun’s heartbroken arms, and they all evacuate the car as his corpse reanimates and continue on foot.

They perilously march through the wilderness of London suburbia, encountering Shaun’s old friend Yvonne and a parallel group of her own. They part ways, but before getting to the Winchester, an old man in his pyjamas attacks and is subdued by the group. The group finds the Winchester surrounded, and they decide that the best way to get to their Utopia is to mimic the actions and blend into the zombies.

Engulfed by the crowd of undead, they manage to avoid suspicion until they try to enter the pub. One zombie notices, and that spreads like a Mexican wave, aided and abetted by Ed answering a call on his mobile. In panic, David breaks a window, and Shaun risks his life to draw the zombies away.

He returns later to mutiny among the ranks; David tries to belittle Shaun’s leadership to the deaf ears of the others. Once Shaun returns, there is a sense of calm before the zombies return: and this time, it’s serious. As they attack, the group pulls together, but there are far too many of them. It is revealed that Barbara has been bitten, and Shaun is heartbroken for the third time in 48 hours. He is tasked with shooting her before she reanimates, after an argument with David. David gets hold of the riffle and attempts to shoot Shaun, and is pulled through the window by the mob of zombies, torn limb from limb. Dianne attempts to save him, but is lost in the crowd.

The remaining three try to fight but there are just too many. They escape down to the cellar after one bites Ed. Terrified, they talk about suicide, but only have 2 bullets. They discover a way out but Ed is reluctant to leave, saying ‘I’d only hold you back’ to Shaun. They part, and Shaun and Liz are elevated to street level, where within seconds an army attack, including Yvonne, is organised against the zombies. They are rescued, and the film ends with them happily in Shaun’s house together, with zombie Ed in the shed, always a sympathetic undead shoulder to lean on.

*END OF SPOILERS*

The gore in this film is understated: to be honest, Wright could have added more in to heighten the horror aspect. However, the snippets of gore that are included are incredibly inventive and well-shot, such as the scene where Shaun and Ed are shot through the hole in a zombie-woman’s stomach.

I can’t say that this film is disturbing – to me, the most important element of a good horror film. This film is mostly funny zombie moments and interaction with the characters. However, there are some seriously disturbing shots in the background of the storytelling: a person in a body bag sits up and thrashes around and a man picking up and putting a pigeon in his mouth. These shots are only for a few seconds, but trust me, they linger with you.

The originality of this movie is a lot of its appeal: it is a film that is rewatchable and as you do, you catch more subtle hints or shots or dialogue. In my book, it gets the most quotable horror movie award, and for God’s sake, it’s a zombie horredy, what more needs saying?

The scariness isn’t actually a huge factor until the very end, when the last members of the group are trapped in the cellar. The dialogue gets a lot darker as the characters try to accept their fate, but this scariness is not present throughout the movie: some might argue that therefore it can’t be as effective as it should have been, but I say that the whole movie was built around the bond between the characters and the audience, and because of this their imminent doom is a lot scarier as the audience ends up caring deeply for them.

The music score is fantastic: a mixture of Queen and composed music. This film would not have been suited to an orchestra, so they made the right choice there.

The inventive shots and the fast pace of the movie helped it to never be boring, and the direction of the characters was insightful and touching in many parts, helping to make the movie much more than just any sleazy horror film.

Despite the banality of the suburbs of London, the setting of this film ranges from the back gardens, which are given an almost rain-forest vibe, to built-up areas like Liz’s flat. The zombie outbreak there is an interesting choice, as in most horror films the horror happens somewhere remote, but it is refreshing to have an urban setting that has a believable reason as to why the authorities can’t respond.

The script is very funny, insightful and totally believable, which makes the characters totally three-dimensional. The acting is also to a very high standard: Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (Shaun and Ed) are especially riveting, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off them.

The weapons used range from blunt objects that you would find around the house to firearms. I enjoyed the inventiveness of these, but thought that none of them were particularly badass.

This neat little movie has kept me thoroughly entertained over the last decade and is a fantastic blend of all the elements that shouldn’t work but do, with a wonderful script, killer performances and tons of heart.

*THE RESULTS*

Gore 7/10

Disturbing 5/10

Originality 9/10

Scariness 7/10

Music Score 7/10

Weapons 8/10

Cinematography/direction 9/10

Setting 8/10

Script 9/10

Entertainment 10/10

*Overall*

79/100

House on Haunted Hill (1959)

This is the oldest film that I have reviewed so far – it has scores of 6.9/10 on IMDb, 96% on Rotten Tomatoes and 3.2/5 from allocine. It’s a film of suspense which builds to a twist finale rather than a jumpscare-fuelled ride through an outplayed scenario which is what the horror genre seems to be becoming today (she says with just a hint of cynicism). Warning: if you are bored by old but well-done makeup, slow-burners and little to no action until the last few scenes, this is not the film for you. But this film is a shining example of how slow-moving horror movies which value tension over action work so well. Vincent Price stars and the film has quite a short running time of 95 minutes.

The film opens with 5 people heading towards a house with the view to spend the night: their hosts are the illustrious Mr and Mrs Loren, who have offered each a cash prize if they all manage to spend the whole night in what they call their Haunted House. The guests include: Watson Pritchard, a paranoid and unsettled man who claims that 7 people have already been murdered in the house; Lance Schroeder, an air pilot who needs the money; Ruth Bridges, a compulsive gambler; David Trent, a doctor who has explored the medicinal reasons behind hysteria and who is said to be greedy; and Nora Manning, a professional woman who supports her entire family.

***SPOILERS***

They all ride up to the big white-stone mansion with iron black gates with orchestral, ghostly music playing in the background. Once inside, they introduce themselves – none of them know each other. The chandelier swings and comes shattering down, causing the guests to throw themselves out of its way. Mr Loren (Price) watches from an upper floor, unseen.

Loren goes back into his room to speak to Annabelle, his wife. It is revealed that he has had 4 wives, and there is a definite Addams family vibe, only much darker. Annabelle resists coming out of the room to welcome the guests.

Loren introduces himself to the guests, and Pritchard begs him to call off the party. It is stated that the caretakers, who lock up and take the keys with them every night, leave at midnight and there will be no way out until morning.

The group goes on a tour, which is disturbed when blood drips onto Ruth from a stain on the ceiling. They venture down to the cellar, which is full of barrels and a trap door. Loren states that a Mr Norton (a former owner of the mansion), was killed by electric chair after pushing his wife into the vat of acid under the trap door.

Nora and Lance stay downstairs and have a conversation which ends with Nora being spooked by a shadow and running back upstairs, calling for the others. They come down with her and find Lance with a cut on his forehead. Lance and Nora agree to go back down again. They find that the walls are hollow, and a woman ghost surprises Nora. There is a very unexpected close-up of the ghosts face – sexy.

Nora runs into Annabelle upstairs and she is shown her room. Annabelle seems to be suspicious of her. After, Annabelle meets Lance and shows him to his room. There is some sexual tension there, and Annabelle confesses that her husband is planning something.

Loren finds Annabelle in the hall, and pulls her hair to get her to submit. Woah. Abusive, much.

Nora opens up a seemingly innocent music box in her room and SURPRISE there’s a severed head inside. She staggers off by herself, and a hand is put over her mouth. She bolts from the mystery-groper into the drawing room. The doors open to show the woman and man ghost, who are the caretakers. The guests start to panic as they realise there is no way out.

Loren shares out ‘party favours’: guns in mini-coffins. Everyone takes one, except Annabelle who makes a moral objection. The group goes to investigate the severed head/music box, but it has disappeared. Trent angrily tells Loren to stop frightening Nora after she leaves.

***SERIOUS SPOILERS***

The group divides until Nora screams: Annabelle has been hung from the stairwell and is dead. They take her down and put her to bed.

Lance finds a cowering Nora and hides her in his room as she is convinced that Loren choked her. Trent knocks on Lance’s door and the men leave, Nora concealed in Lance’s room with no-one knowing her whereabouts.

Loren sneaks into the room where Annabelle is lying. Pritchard overhears him slating her, and is threatened by Loren when he is discovered.

The group tells Loren that they suspect him, and everyone separates. Lance is locked into a room, while the lights go out in his room, scaring Nora. A rope feeds itself through the window and winds itself around Nora’s legs. Nora sees a ghost (Annabelle) through the window and she scrambles to get away. A monster hand reaches around a door and she flees. She finds an empty room, but the piano starts to play without a pianist and she is forced to run again (also, there is a lot of screaming in this sequence. Like, a lot).

Loren leaves his room and Trent finds him, saying that he has heard an organ playing and ‘someone walking’ (but no screaming?!). They separate to search on the two floors. Trent goes into Annabelle’s room and she sits up! Turns out, she wasn’t dead (what a faker) and that they were lovers, working together to frame Lance for Annabelle’s murder and commit the ‘perfect crime’ as they plan that the now hysterical Nora will be ambushed by Loren and shoot him on sight. It is revealed that Trent is the one that has been attacking her.

Here’s where it gets convoluted… Loren ventures downstairs and is shot by Nora. Trent disposes of Loren’s body in the acid vat. Annabelle comes downstairs, and the door closes behind her. She looks into the acid vat, to see a skeleton emerge. She is obviously terrified, and she accidentally backs into the vat. However, it is then revealed that the skeleton was operated by… Mr Loren?!?! DUN DUN DUN.

And that’s it. That’s the end.

***SPOILERS END***

Okay, so due to the lack of special effects because of the time period in which this movie was made, there is little to no gore (which is not necessarily a bad thing). It actually adds to the suspense, and when you do get a full-screen of gory ghost, you really jump back.

This is a very creepy little film. Shot in black and white, all the aspects feed into each other to work together to make the atmosphere suspenseful. The excellent props and unexplained events keep you guessing until the very end.

The film is quite original, although bears a striking resemblance to Les Diaboliques, a French film made 4 years earlier (hmm). However, in the English-speaking world, the power struggles between the characters are very interesting and there are loads of layers to the interaction of the characters and their actions.

The very last shot of the film was very scary and for some reason, really struck a nerve with me. However, I didn’t get this feeling all the way through, although I do appreciate the feels that instil a creeping feeling of dread rather than scare after scare until you are numb to them.

Dissonant, orchestral and ghostly music provides the perfect backing track to the film, although, I assume due to editing problems, the sound suddenly gets very loud during one particular part of the film, which is irritating.

The weapons are guns, which I personally always feel are impersonal and uninventive, although I did like that each character got one. Also, the vat of acid is really cool.

The cinematography is almost flawless: the sweeping, grand establishing shots are beautiful and there are a lot of different angles used throughout the film. I especially love the end shot (as I have said beforehand), and the shots where all of the guests are being introduced at the beginning, all sat in a car and all quietly terrified.

I felt that the setting let the film down a bit: a huge mansion, filled with dust, spiders and severed heads? Yawn. Although, that being said, that is not entirely fair, as this film is quite old and therefore has been emulated many times by the more current horror market. The fact that the mansion is white is quite interesting, though.

The script is not fantastic: for example, the ending is really not clear (and not in the Inception kind of good way), and the characters, especially the female ones, are totally unlikeable and portrayed as paranoid morons. However, it does have a good twist (even if that twist was featured in an earlier film *cough cough*).

Overall, this film is an enjoyable way to spend 95 minutes. The music and the cinematography are the highlights, with the script and the setting being the least strong aspects.

***RESULTS***

Gore 7/10
Disturbance/Creepiness 8/10
Originality 8/10
Scariness (behind-the-sofa factor) 7/10
Music score 7/10
Weapons 6/10
Cinematography/direction 8/10
Setting 6/10
Script 6/10
Entertainment 7/10

Overall: 70/100